To gear up for the occasion, I asked some of my favorite Substack dads what they want for Father’s Day. No one said tickets to a Finals game at Madison Square Garden so if anyone is desperate to get rid of one of those, you know where to find me.

- Jack

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Before we dive into today’s guide, I’m excited to share that Dad Mag is partnering with for an event in Brooklyn next week!

Join us for an evening of books, conversation, and community. We’ll kick off the evening at Candor Candy, where dads can pick up a sweet treat for their kids, then head right across the street to Black Forest Brooklyn for beers, books, and conversation.

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What dads really want, in their own words

The things we never buy ourselves

There are things every man wants that they will never buy themselves. I’ve only been a man for 34 years, and I’m still trying to figure out why. Last year my wife bought me some beard oil that I loved; I’m secretly waiting for her to buy it again.

A friend once told me a man really has three accessories that really count: a watch, a wallet, and a belt. I’m in desperate need of a new watch, but when I start researching, the same thing that happens to me when a menu at a restaurant spans more than 3 pages, I just give up. Oh, and I’d love one of those gas-powered leaf blowers, the ones you wear on your back, so I can clean off the yard and gutters in the fall. But I’m nervous it’ll end up living in the basement next to the pole saw.

- of Raising Myles

A cup of coffee, in complete silence

The dad wants to wake up on his own, in complete silence. He wants to take a leak, in complete silence. He wants to slowly meander to the kitchen, in complete silence. He wants to brew coffee, in complete silence. He wants to slowly sip the coffee, in complete silence, and each sip is hot, and each sip is silent, and he wants to finish that cup of coffee, in complete silence. Then the noise can begin.

-

A running stroller (and more pat leave)

Thule makes great ones. They’re expensive, though. Especially the twin version. Such is my life now. And 6 months paternity leave, at least 3 paid.

-

Concert tickets, a surf mag, and a dance party

The problem with me (well, one of them) is that I don’t know what I want for Father’s Day. I never really know what I want for any holiday or birthday. I don’t know what I want for lunch. Which is why I know I married the perfect woman and have been blessed with perfect children. All three have the ability to see inside a part of my consciousness that not even I have access to. For example: My two favorite bands are coming to town in August and I am privy to the info that my wife has already procured us tickets to both shows: Interpol at the Santa Barbara Bowl and Iceage at the Masonic Lodge in Hollywood.

I have some recon that my 3-year old Agnes is at work on “a surf magazine that teaches you not to wipe out and not have to go to acupuncture.” Which is also the perfect gift for me. I’m pretty certain I will be waking up Sunday, June 21st around 5:43 a.m. to hang out with my 4-month-old daughter Harriet who has a smile and some spit up for me over coffee number one — which is the other thing I didn’t know I always wanted for Father’s Day. There will be eggs and bacon and maybe some biscuits and more coffee and orange juice and we’ll have a dance party in the middle of the kitchen thanks to our Turtlebox speaker on the fridge and I’ll remain the dad who is hard to shop for because he already has everything.

- of

More time with family

I feel like “father” is a heavy word (“God the Father…”). Lucy has been calling me daddy a lot lately, and to be called that by such a little cherub seems to reflect my nature back to me in a more positive way than I could ever self construct. I think I’ve earned being called her daddy (is there a more affirming sentence in the world than hearing your toddler say “I want my daddy” ?) not through the archaic man-of-the-house seriousness of being her father, but by being fun, musical, goofy, spontaneous, and a human jungle gym.

As this may pertain to Father’s Day, I promise I’m not being cloyingly humble when I say that all I want is more of the same. More time to be with her — and her mom too — to follow the wildly meandering path of her interests throughout a whole day. In practical terms, even though I don’t begrudge chores, it would be very helpful if that day the house could get straightened up, and some food could get made, and some laundry could get done not by me. Or Rosie. So I guess that means what I really want is a one-day cooking/cleaning/laundry service to run everything while I run around with my kid.

- of

Responses may have been edited for length and clarity.

A few other Dad Mag-approved ideas

• A portable tire inflator that plugs into the 12V cigarette lighter so you don’t have to find a gas station and scrounge for quarters

• A portable jump starter so you don’t have to flag down a stranger and hope they have cables

• This yeti cooler bag that’s great for park hangs, road trips, and beach days

• The thermapen I don’t cook without

Father figures from the archives

There are surely better movies to watch to mark the occasion, but none more aptly named than Fathers’ Day. For those not fortunate enough to have seen this beauty in theaters with their own father, all you need to know is Robin Williams and Billy Crystal go searching for a former girlfriend's missing son (each having been told they’re the father) and hijinks ensue.

Available to rent on Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV.

One good piece of advice

You can always make more money. You can never buy more time.

When I interviewed Kevin Van Valkenburg, he told me there’s a Norm Macdonald quote he thinks of almost weekly:

“The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you’re not careful, it’s too late. Of course, the young man will never understand this truth.”

Read the Interview

One for the road

However you celebrate, I hope you have a happy Father’s Day. You deserve it.

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But it’s worth it — no matter what stage of fatherhood you’re in. You’ll look better, feel better, and maybe even collect a few pieces worth passing down. Not sure where to start? Take it from these guys…

Style is something that happens when you’re engaged with the world

The idea that personal style is something you search for, like a scavenger hunt, rather than something that emerges from experience, is a fundamental misstep.

Look at Warhol, Glenn O’Brien, Basquiat, David Hockney, André Leon Talley, Bill Cunningham, and none of these guys wasted time finding their style.

They were busy doing. Making things. Writing. Painting. Photographing. Their style wasn’t a strategy, it was a byproduct of an interesting life.

— , author of —

Fewer pieces that actually talk to each other

Look at your closet right now. What are you actually wearing multiple times a week? What do you grab without thinking about it?

Those are your core pieces. The ones that already work. You love the fit, how they make you feel and likely the durability. Build everything else around those.

Any new piece you’re thinking about buying should work with at least three things you already own. Not just one perfect outfit you have in your head. At least three real, wearable combinations. If it doesn’t pass that test, you probably don’t need it yet.

— , author of Where Your Pants Break —

Ready to get tactical? Let’s talk pants…

If you’re “loose-fit curious” but haunted by memories of nineties business casual, start with workwear. Utilitarian styles — double-knee carpenter pants, OG-107 military fatigues, army chinos — look great in a roomier cut because they were originally designed for movement. Carhartt and Dickies offer solid double-knee options, while Ralph Lauren, Imogene + Willie, Standard & Strange, and Kapital carry canvas and denim versions that break in beautifully.

— , author of Die, Workwear —

…and belts

You only NEED one belt, but in my opinion, you’re best off with at least three.

1. A classy black leather belt, something simple, clean, versatile, and well made. Looks at home on a pair of jeans but easily pairs with a suit or trousers.

2. A brown leather belt that serves a similar purpose, but it can afford to lean a bit more casual. More of a “jean belt” that could also work with some softer tailoring

3. Your statement belt. Whether it’s a nylon climber belt, something studded, or a loud buckle, it’s gotta have something distinct about it. It may only work for 15% of your outfits, but when it does, it brings everything together.

— , creative consultant, fashion creator, and author of nolandanielwhite —

The gear that will save your life this summer

If you’ve ever had to pack the car for a weeklong vacation, you know that squish-ability is an underrated factor when it comes to the game of Jenga you’re playing in the trunk. This means duffels over rollaboards and soft coolers over your dad’s Igloo Playmate from 1992. This yeti cooler bag is great for park hangs, road trips, and beach days.

Speaking of the beach, very few things in this season of life wouldn’t be improved with waterproofing. Whether you like your aquatic activities on the coast, by the pool, or with a spirit and lime, these waterproof Uno cards are a no-brainer for kids and adults.

A father figure from the archives

Tom Selleck, father of three and one of the best to ever get dressed, had these things going for him: impeccable mustache, low-key accessories, and the kind of dad bod that was meant to hang clothes from.

One good piece of advice

When I talked to about being a stay-at-home dad, he shared this gem about ownership:

Read the Full Interview

One more for the road

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Technically, we celebrated the spring equinox a few days ago, so even if the weather outside isn’t reflecting it, it’s almost time to think about spring cleaning, and I don’t know about you, but our weekly menu could definitely use a refresh.

In order to lighten the load and add a few new recipes to everyone’s repertoire, I tracked down three foolproof meals that have limited ingredients, are easy to cook, and most importantly, kids will actually eat.

One-Skillet Crispy Chicken Burrito Bowls

is the patron saint of easy dinners. Her bestselling cookbook is literally called What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking and if that isn’t most weeknights around here, I don’t know what is. According to Caroline, “You cook the rice right in a jar of salsa to make the easiest Mexican rice of all time. It’s tender and flavorful and serves as the perfect base for perfectly crisp chicken thighs.”

Basil Pesto Pasta

of Barrett and the Boys shared this recipe with me when I asked her for a crowd pleaser that any dad could handle. For dessert? She recommends this one-bowl banana bread.

Silky Cauliflower Soup

This soup is so easy and tasty that I made it for lunch in the middle of a workday this week. has long been my go-to source for simple and delicious recipes and ’s silky cauliflower soup is the epitome of both criteria. According to Deb, it’s “showy enough for your next dinner party but takes less than 40 minutes from emptying the grocery bags to sipping.” The best part? It’s a great way to sneak a whole vegetable past your kids. Better tell them it’s called Silky Parmesan Soup, though.

The gear that saves my life in the kitchen

Whether it’s burgers on the grill or a Thanksgiving turkey, I don’t serve anything without first checking the temp with my Thermapen.

Get yours here

A father figure from the archives

In 1996, legendary chef Jacques Pepin hosted a show on PBS with his daughter called Cooking with Claudine. He instructed her in simple, elegant meals that suited her graduate student budget and lifestyle, and got to steal some time back with his adult daughter.

One good piece of advice

When I interviewed , he reframed ambition in a way that I think we could all use a little more of:

Read the Full Interview

One for the road

I’m sorry. That was bad even by dad joke standards. See you next time.

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Before we get to that, here’s a Valentine’s Day Essentials Pack just in case you haven’t already sorted your plans:

• A self-made bouquet from Trader Joe’s (try to incorporate at least 3 different flowers)

• Her favorite candy (you do know her favorite candy, right?)

• Most importantly, a card with real thoughts and feelings (this is non-negotiable)

Now back to this month’s guide. Spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with technique and everything to do with connection. Keep reading to find out why.

Sex is an outcome, not an input

You can’t hack your way to a better sex life. You have to earn it by becoming a better version of yourself first. Dial in your sleep, health, and fitness. When you feel better, you’re a better partner. Next, step up your game at home. Be a source of support. Sure, you want to do things around the house, but also show up emotionally. Ask “How was your day?” and actually listen. Flirt with your partner like you did when you were dating. Have more fun together. It really is that simple. Here’s the truth most guys miss: desire dies from neglect and autopilot. Break the routine, invest in yourself and your relationship, and watch what happens.

- Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., professor of psychology and author of

Foreplay is everything that went on since the last time we made love

The women that I’ve worked with over the decades in my counseling practice and workshops want their lovers to open their hearts, be generous of spirit and listen. Women will tell their lovers what lights them up when they know that the men will use what they’re hearing. What it often boils down to is that foreplay is everything that went on since the last time we made love. It's the context of the entire relationship.

- Linda Bloom, relationship counselor and author of

We’re often turned on by something we’re missing in the rest of our life

For many women, this can be a feeling of being cared for. Mothers spend their lives worried about the well-being of their children, their household, and in some cases also professional colleagues.

If it fits with your style, you can say that you want to care for her body in the way that she cares for your family. You can tell her that you know that she is usually the one giving, but for the next bit of time you want her to receive. Or just start touching. Move slowly, cherishing each body part. Be prepared to be a little bit uncomfortable: If you haven’t hit that point, it probably hasn’t been long enough.

When she feels really deeply cared for, she is likely to enjoy sex much more. And increased pleasure for her will bring the same to you.

- Nelson, sex and relationship coach and author of

Responses may have been edited for length and clarity.

The gear that saved my life this month

After interviewing 5 fitness experts on building healthy habits for last month’s guide, I decided the best way to hold myself accountable to my own fitness goals was to join a gym. It turns out that picking up heavy things and putting them down really does do wonderful things for mood, confidence, and, as we’ve discussed above, libido. If you’ve been looking for a sign to do the same, consider this it.

If you’re not a gym person or it’s too cold to get to one near you, it’s amazing how versatile resistance bands can be especially in a small apartment. If that’s more your speed, try these ones.

Get yours here

A father figure from the archives

Paul Newman was a father of 6 and his marriage to his second wife, Joanne Woodward, lasted 50 years. When asked by Playboy about staying faithful, Newman smartly said, "I have steak at home; why go out for hamburger?"

One good piece of advice

When I interviewed of , she shared a goldmine of great info on how parents can find their village and how friends can help out parents, including:

When you’re making offers, make them really concrete and specific. “I would like to pick up your kids after school one day a week. Let me know what day works best.” Or “I want to make gingerbread houses and go see the Christmas lights and I need kids to come with me. Can they come on Saturday?” The more specific, the easier it is for parents to take up.

Read the full interview

One for the road

It really is that crazy, huh? See you next time.

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First up for dad: finding a way to move my body on a daily basis that I look forward to (one of my 26 goals for being a better dad this year). To help kickstart the process, I asked 5 fitness writers to share their tips for getting started with healthier fitness habits.

Oh, and if anyone has any ideas for getting this kid to eat his vegetables, please send help.

Something is better than nothing

Doing something is way, way better than doing nothing, and everything else is just details. I think that message definitely gets lost these days in the hype around optimization. That means picking something that you can stick with and that you hopefully enjoy, at least on some level, is more important than doing the “right” workout for longevity or focus or ripped abs or whatever else you’re looking for.

For dads in particular, an extra bonus is if you can work in some social time. I love running, and do weights in my basement, but I also have a Friday night pick-up basketball game that feeds my soul in a different way.

- , author of Sweat Science

Figure out a driving value behind your exercise routine that actually supports your wellbeing

I’m a big fan of noticing how your body feels when you’re exercising regularly: Are you sleeping better? Have more energy? Feel more patient with your kids? Let that motivate you! But also (and I almost can’t believe I’m saying this) sometimes fear isn’t the worst motivator — I tried for years and years to get my husband to exercise regularly, and then he was diagnosed with prediabetes and it almost immediately scared him straight.

Then, try to tune out as much of the noise as you can. It’s helpful to find a resource or two you really trust, whether it’s a personal trainer you’re working with 1:1, a great YouTuber, or a (ahem) fitness newsletter because there is so much fitness stuff out there and it can be super overwhelming. Even the official exercise recommendations sometimes feel like distracting noise to me: It’s simply not always possible for working parents to get 150 minutes of exercise every week. But instead of feeling guilty and defeated about it, just do what you can. Any amount of exercise you’ll do is better than the “optimal” approach you cannot realistically achieve in this season of life.

— , health journalist, personal trainer, and author of How to Move

Make it easy to take care of your body

I keep massage balls in the bathroom and roll my feet while I brush my teeth. The bottoms of our feet are loaded with sensory receptors, so rolling (slow is better) wakes up proprioception, helps balance, loosens stiff arches, and gets blood moving.

Morning rolling is reactive: it helps warm up tissues and clear inflammation that builds up overnight. Night rolling is proactive: it helps dump the tension and strain your feet collected all day. Same habit, different job—therapy in the morning, preventative maintenance at night. Same two minutes you were already standing there and a whole lot less foot drama later.

- , author of and owner of Past Tense yoga studio in Washington, D.C.

Incorporate your kids from day one

I had my girls at ages 40 and 42, and when they were born, my goal was to have girls who were intellectually curious and physically active. This is how I’ve adjusted my workouts during various phases of their adolescence.

Walking to age 4

As a fitness professional, I taught spinning and strength training classes at a YMCA in exchange for a free family membership which included free babysitting. Investing in a health club with a good daycare is worth it for this phase of their development. Either that or you and your partner have to get used to tag-teaming workout time and kid-watching time.

Ages 10-13

This is my current stage and I’m loving it! Now that they’re older, we’ve done workouts together at the local school — running and TRX. Plus, I have a gym membership that allows me to bring free guests and I’ll bring my kids when I can. It means I change my workout for the day, but it’s so much fun to work out with my kids that I don’t care. Whenever we exercise together, I ask how they feel and whether they can feel themselves becoming stronger — I want to equate exercise with the ability to change one’s mood and performance, instead of doing it strictly for appearance.

- , author of

Strength doesn’t come from doing everything right—it comes from showing up again and again

I tell anyone coming back from a break or who’s ready to make a positive healthy change to aim for a repeatable routine, not a perfect one. (Apply to any facet of your well-being, from cooking healthier meals to meditation to workouts.)

If the goal is fitness, maybe you can realistically puzzle in three days a week for 20–30 minutes. (Build your session around foundational movements: push, pull, hinge, carry.) That effort will move the needle more than occasional hero workouts squeezed in between work and kid logistics.

Motivation is great, but it can’t be manufactured on demand—the real win is consistency. Show up, keep it simple, and let the habit carry you on the days your willpower doesn’t.

, former Editor-in-Chief of Women’s Health and author of

Responses may have been edited for length and clarity.

The gear that saved my life this week

After my 489th consecutive meal with an oil stain, I lamented on Notes that it might be time to to get an adult-sized rubber bib. Instead, reader suggested the Meliora soap stick stain remover for kids and adult stains alike.

Get yours here.

A father figure from the archives

As a five-time winner of Mr. Universe, Arnold knows a thing or two about fitness goals, proper nutrition, and party shirts.

One good piece of advice

When I interviewed for ’s Substack, he shared how his parenting partnership influences his business partnership with his wife:

We were parents first, and business partners next. In the early years of our marriage—we’ve been married for 9 years and together for 13—we invested time and energy in learning how to communicate, how to disagree, and how to navigate conflict without dismissing the other person. That made parenting, and partnering in business, much easier. It’s all about easy, clear, kind communication.

One for the road

Try not to spit out your coffee while listening to Will Arnett’s favorite dad joke, and we’ll see you next time.

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I may have put my finger on the scale by asking for ideas that could still be sourced the week before Christmas, but it’s worth noting that this was on everyone’s mind. So whether you’ve already got the perfect present in hand or you’re still waiting for inspiration to strike, take note of how our expert guests would wrap up the gift of time.

What moms really want, in their own words

One night in a hotel (or stroller warmmuffs)

If you’re working this last minute for your wife, I suggest one night in a local hotel. It doesn’t need to be super fancy but it does need to be nice enough that it has a robe. While she is there, do not call her. She can luxuriate in the shower, order room service, catch up on some trash TV. Because she is a mom, she will only sleep in mildly and come home at a normal hour, so don’t ask her what time she’ll be back. If you are really good, you’ll look at your shared calendar and OFFER HER three date options so it actually happens. But, if time away isn’t possible, I would want a pair of the 7AM Stroller Warmmuffs. They are an unnecessary indulgence, which makes them a perfect gift.

- of

A Lindquist bag…and time, obviously

Like most moms I know, at the top of my Christmas wishlist is time. More hours in the day would be great, but since that’s not an option, I’ll take time to myself. A day at the spa followed by a nice dinner at a dark bar with a book. Maybe even a solo stay at a hotel for a good night’s sleep, if we’re getting wild. I love my family dearly, but some time to recharge, rest, and take care of myself is always welcome! Otherwise I would gladly take this gorgeous bag from Lindquist I’ve had my eye on for ages.

- of

Self-care and getting your kids involved

I appreciate when my husband gets me gift cards to self-care experiences that I value...that usually involve me being alone haha. Here is one place I rave about: Postcard Cabins.

It’s also nice when he takes our boys (10 and 13) to pick something out for me at my favorite independent shop in town. It’s less about what they get than just seeing that they had to think of me and choose something for me.

- of

A “me day” planned by dad

What I really want this year isn’t something that needs to be wrapped. I want a full day off from parenting (!): no logistics (he’s planning it all), no kids (he’s got ‘em), just time to rest, reset, and get a true break from working overtime as a full-time stay-at-home mom who’s also writing a weekly Substack newsletter.

If you’re looking to make that kind of gift tangible, here’s what that could look like: a gift card to her favorite coffee shop to start the day, a massage appointment already booked, ideally in a part of town where she could wander to lunch or shopping afterward. A new book she’s mentioned wanting to read, tucked into a bag for her solo outing… you get the gist. The luxury of a “me day” planned all the way through… by dad this time. That’s it. That’s the gift.

- Elin Strong of Bang Voyage

A pack of yoga classes AND a promise to safeguard that time

I thought about it a lot and here’s what I think I would really like most — planned and consistent time do do something for myself. A pack of classes at the local yoga studio and a promise to make sure I can get out the door to class once a week would be the best gift!

- Tricia Torley of Immensely Dramatic

Something beautiful for the home

What I really want as a busy mom with two kids, two businesses and a mile long to-do list? I love gifts that are thoughtful and take some of the burden off of me:

• Beautiful things for my home -- especially things I’ve dropped hints about (that always feels so special!)

• Anything from Slope Home on 5th ave in Park Slope (my favorite store)

• A night out with all plans made (nothing to add to my mental load)

- Rachel Lipson of

A book club for two and a framed picture with the kids

My husband, Ken, complains that I’m the hardest person to shop for, and he wouldn’t be wrong. Last year, though, he really nailed the gift. He went to our local bookstore (Powerhouse Books in Industry City) and chose three slim novels (under 150 pages) that had been well-reviewed or were staff picks. I managed to get through two of the three (while reading other books throughout the year), and I’ve started the third. Ken also read them, and it’s given us something to talk about other than what’s for dinner and who’s doing school pickup.

Another idea is to take a picture of her with the kids and get it framed. This is the easiest gift in the world—you can still have photos printed at CVS! And if you don’t have any pics of her with the kids, make it your New Year’s resolution to start taking more regular photos of her in action. We need more photos of kids with their moms!

- of

Responses may have been edited for length and clarity.

The gear that saved my life this week

Ever since our son joined the fun, we’ve been driving a lot more because he is not a light packer. Here are two pieces of car equipment I don’t travel without:

• A portable tire inflator that plugs into the 12V cigarette lighter so you don’t have to find a gas station and scrounge for quarters

• A portable jump starter so you don’t have to flag down a stranger and hope they have cables

A father figure from the archives

Robert Redford — actor, director, and snappy dresser — was one of the beloved entertainers we lost this year. He’s pictured above towing his son, Jamie, in Utah.

One good piece of advice

When I interviewed Travis Ferré, he talked about the subtle nuances his father showed him about life, art and surfing, and how he wants to make sure his kids inherit the art of noticing as well.

I see myself pointing that out to Agnes all the time…Not just surfing, but the sand crabs at the beach. The way sandbars work. How a pelican dives. Just making sure she sees all that, because I know my dad made sure I did.

Read the Interview

One for the road

Hey, we made it. I hope you find some time to think about how far you’ve come this year and where you want to go next. I hope you get a nap, a sweet treat, and some hard-earned alone time. Happy Holidays from Dad Mag.

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With the holidays upon us, you’ve likely already hosted or attended a party or two. Maybe things went off without a hitch and maybe there were a few unforced errors you’d like to clean up next time. Either way, this month’s guide to hosting is worth a read.

Also in this issue: the gear that saved my life this week, a vintage father figure, and one good piece of advice.

In the spirit of the season, this inaugural issue is free for everyone. In the future, our monthly guides will be for paid subscribers only.

A holiday guide to hosting

Bringing people together from different parts of your life and creating an environment in which they can find comfort and connection is a skill. The music has to be audible but not overpowering, the food and drink should be plentiful but not too heavy, and anything that can go wrong has a nasty habit of doing so.

Overwhelmed yet? Don’t be.

After talking to experts with backgrounds in food, beverage, and decor, it’s clear that a little foresight goes a long way. Be intentional about why you want people to come together, what you expect them to do once they’re there, and for god’s sake, feed them.

Here are a few other tips from the experts:

People eat with their eyes.

Some candles, flowers and attention to detail will go a long way to making your dinner party a memorable event.

- John Kanell, author of and father of 2 (as told to Homeworthy.com)

It’s a busy time of year

Putting in the time and possible expense to send a written invitation by mail is both polite and helpful. Also, if you’re deciding between two bags of ice or three, go with three!

- Michael Neary, former hotelier and father of 3

Editor’s Note: While we all aspire to be the kind of people who can get physical invitations in the mail, a Paperless Post or Partiful invite is perfectly acceptable. The important thing is planning ahead for a proper turnout.

Food, and lots of it.

We have enormous trays of Chik-Fil-A delivered the morning of. We serve them up on Cookie sheets. Rows of donuts on any platters we have fill blank spaces on a dresser in our living room. Last year we filled a dutch oven with pastries, too.

- , author of and father of 1

Don’t let the bathroom be an afterthought.

If the party’s any good, many guests will stay long enough to need a bathroom break. Make it a calm moment. If possible plug in a small lamp so nobody reaches for the overhead lighting. Sneak in at some point to swap the wet hand towel for a fresh one. If you have an extra mini speaker, plug it in on low volume to a station different from what’s being played in the main room (classical or jazz is great).

- Noah Neary, interior decorator and founder of Frame Shop

Have something with a story.

Glassware that was grandma’s or picked up at a vintage store, a recipe you picked up overseas, candies from a new store down the road, little menus drawn up by a friend who can doodle. That kind of stuff.

- Kaki Smith, founder of kaki smith design

Best of luck this holiday season. Have fun, be yourself, and don’t forget to drink water.

The gear that saved my life this week

This one’s for anyone who’s ever had to coax an infant’s arm through multiple layers of winter clothes. Every time I put my son into his stroller now that we have a footmuff (aka a winter sleeping bag), I know he’ll be warm enough without that extra jacket, as evidenced by how quickly he falls asleep.

This one is from 7AM Enfant (Thanks Winnie and Nik!). Other budget-friendly footmuffs we like:

Yobee Universal Cozy Fleece

Orzbow Warm Bunting Bag

A father figure from the archives

Actor and renowned pool shark, Jerry Orbach, watches his son, Tony, line up a shot on the pool table in 1969.

One good piece of advice

When I interviewed Sam Swift, he offered this advice that’s stuck with me ever since (and even come up in conversation with other readers):

Don’t try to make a happy baby happier.

Dad Mag

What a CTO wants his daughters to know about the Sirens' Call of technology

Sam Swift lives in Brooklyn with his family and works as the CTO at Sealed. Before Sealed, Sam worked at several other startups in engineering, data, and AI roles, and got his PhD in Organizational B…

Read more

10 months ago · 7 likes · Jack Neary

Links and a laugh

• Why do we get so mad about parents supporting their adult children? | The Purse

• The day I let my daughter be baptized | The New Fatherhood

• The shift no one warns you about in fatherhood |

Before we go

I went to a great event put on by last week that focused discussion around masculinity. After a dinner filled with lively conversation, I was reminded of this great piece by George Saunders on his writing education and the power of gentleness:

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